Taking the Plunge (AKA Trusting Myself)

There comes a time when you see the fork in the road as clear as day, when you can’t add any more fuel to that flame inside of you without burning the house down, and when you finally come to terms with yourself about a simple fact: It is time to make a change. It is both a scary and fascinating feeling to experience impending growth about to happen. Much of my work with clients is about them coming to that realization: Accepting where they are, and allowing themselves to take a step forward into the mystery of the unknown. I can honestly- and gratefully- say that I finally came to that point in my own life, which has allowed me to take steps I never thought I would have the courage to take. Here are a couple of things that led me to that place:

I stepped into the light.

Instead of putting on a new pair of shades to avoid my calling and to pretend I looked “super cool” right where I was, I allowed myself to walk across the proverbial line in the sand that I had drawn for myself years ago. I allowed myself to acknowledge that I was playing it safe and that I had inadvertently put myself on the sideline. I acknowledged my tendency to be a “backseat” type of person, allowing others to lead and letting myself follow strongly. In fact, I had become extremely successful in that role. That is comfortable for me, and I’m sure some of you can relate. But, it keeps you from being who you are more than capable of being: someone incredible. Someone more.

I gave myself a reality check, and I changed my internal dialogue.

I observe the effects today’s society has on many people struggling to make ends meet and to live a life of fulfillment; the expectations of the outside world pressed upon us leave us feeling stressed, self-conscious, and inadequate. Once I told myself that I was allowed to ignore those outer-world expectations, my life suddenly became so much more optimistic. I then had a future full of possibilities and endless options. This doesn’t make it less uncomfortable or frightening, but it definitely made me less pessimistic!

My hope for you is that, wherever you may be in your journey towards change, you find the courage to face your fears. Figure out the space between who you are and who you want to be. The staircase to get there will unfold through your faith and efforts. As Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change”.

You will find that, once you are able to accept yourself for who you are, just where you are, the options for who you can become are truly endless. Trust in the process, and trust yourself. Take the plunge toward growth.

Liz Higgins, MS, LMFT Associate

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate in Dallas, Texas. I help millennial couples and individuals cultivate the best relationships and lives possible! I am also a relationship expert blogger and contribute relationship posts to Today.com, The Gottman Institute, Huffington Post, and more. I look forward to an opportunity to work with you on your journey towards growth, healing, and change. I am supervised by Dr. Ken Bateman, LMFT-S, LPC-S.